Sometimes I feel like I’m too nice. Like I let my boyfriend walk all over me. Not that he really does I just feel like I put in more than I get out. I feel like he doesn’t really think that highly of me. Idk. I feel like I’m ugly and fat. Idk. I might just be emotional. But I hate when he’s so rude before bed. I just feel annoying so maybe I should just stop talking for awhile. It’s not even just him. Everyone just stops listening to me after awhile. I just feel so uninteresting or like I just sound stupid. Maybe I am stupid and I just want to believe really hard that I’m smart. I have my moments I guess. But for the most part I think I’m pretty dumb. Ha. Idk what to think. I feel like I’m turning back to old me. I don’t like old me. I’m rude. Fuck. I hate old me. I feel like I can’t get to new me. I’m not optimistic and I’m sad. Idk.

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